Nearly four years ago, in the summer before I began high school, I visited Lebanon. A little country in the middle east where my mom’s from. During my visit, my aunt who I was once very close with gifted me a rosary. She told me that the rosary belonged to my grandfather who’d passed away when I was only a few months old, and entrusted me to care for it. During this time, I was just beginning to come to terms with who I was and what I believed. I’d been spending a lot of time reflecting on the christian faith my parents had raised me in, and had come to the conclusion that it just wasn’t for me. For this reason, I tried several times to kindly decline my aunt's gift. I even tried telling her that I wasn’t religious any more, but she was insistent, and eventually I gave in. I’ve kept the rosary since. When we first returned back home to the U.S from the trip and I told my mother about my aunt's gift, she asked me if I’d like her to take it. She knew that I wasn’t a big fan of religion and valued the rosary much more than I did. After some personal internal debating I told her that I’d keep it, and thanked her for the kind offer.
For the last few years the rosary has sat in its case, enclosed in a small cloth bag in my room. It rarely moves and I don’t give it too much thought. For a time it did bother me, religion caused a fracture in the relationship between me and my parents that we’ve just now begun to heal from. Accepting my aunt's gift made me feel as though I was making peace with a religion that had caused me so much pain.
I don’t do anything with the rosary. It simply stays entrapped in its case. I personally have no use for it. I haven’t been to Lebanon since my aunt gifted it to me, so I haven’t had the chance to return it to her and when I asked my mother if she’d like to take it she seemed reluctant. I think she wants me to have it, which I find compelling considering it has little value to me. According to my understanding, this rosary was something my grandfather always carried around, so you’d think one of his children would want it in their possession but apparently not. I have no future plans for the rosary. I wish it was with someone who valued it more but until someone offers to take it off my hands, I’ll continue to ensure its safety and preservation.
— March
For the last few years the rosary has sat in its case, enclosed in a small cloth bag in my room. It rarely moves and I don’t give it too much thought. For a time it did bother me, religion caused a fracture in the relationship between me and my parents that we’ve just now begun to heal from. Accepting my aunt's gift made me feel as though I was making peace with a religion that had caused me so much pain.
I don’t do anything with the rosary. It simply stays entrapped in its case. I personally have no use for it. I haven’t been to Lebanon since my aunt gifted it to me, so I haven’t had the chance to return it to her and when I asked my mother if she’d like to take it she seemed reluctant. I think she wants me to have it, which I find compelling considering it has little value to me. According to my understanding, this rosary was something my grandfather always carried around, so you’d think one of his children would want it in their possession but apparently not. I have no future plans for the rosary. I wish it was with someone who valued it more but until someone offers to take it off my hands, I’ll continue to ensure its safety and preservation.
— March
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